Things about the wedding


Monthly Archive 四月 2018


Elegant Farm Wedding in Iowa

When you have a family property featuring its own magical woods, and it’s the very same property where your parents got married thirty-five years before, I think the venue hunt is over before it begins, don’t you? Rather than go down the rustic route, Megan and Chris decided to go for an elegant, pared-back feel, to let all that natural beauty shine through. My favorite details? Megan’s tulle Monique Lhiullier gown in the palest possible blush, bright florals just right for summer, and the tent (complete with furniture lovingly made by the father of the bride!) set up for dinner and dancing right in the middle of the prairie!

Everyone says it, but do everything you can do be present on the day of your wedding. I think that has to be an intentional process. For example, we hosted welcome drinks and a morning after brunch so that we wouldn’t feel so rushed to spend quality time with every single guest on the actual wedding day. I also carved out some special time with my family over breakfast, for alone time while getting ready, and with Chris after our ceremony and during our last dance. I also promised myself that once I put my dress on I would let go of any last worries about details and just let the rest of the day unfold. Those intentional elements, along with some awesome vendors, really allowed us to be present!

Megan told us that she and Chris decided not to do a first look, as “we wanted to experience all of the intensity of the emotions of seeing each other for the first time during the processional. (If you do this too, definitely invest in some waterproof mascara! I cried both up and down the aisle!) But I did do a first look with my father, and it was so special to have that time with him and my immediate family before the ceremony.”

What was the best advice you received as a bride? You won’t remember what your wedding looked like; you’ll remember what it felt like. Don’t stress too much about things being cohesive or matching a theme or color scheme. If you like it, it will all be cohesive in the end because it will be a reflection of you!

We got married on Two Horse Farm, which has been in our family for decades. It’s no longer a working farm, as the land has been restored to its native Iowa prairie and woodland habitats. My grandparents lived there when I was growing up, and I spent my summers exploring nature there. The place has so much meaning for my family and I; my parents got married there almost thirty-five years ago! There are many beautiful settings on the farm for a ceremony, but the woods have always been my favorite place to feel a little bit of magic, which seemed perfect for our wedding day. The ceremony site was about a ten minute walk from the house and reception site, so our journey to and from the site also felt like an important transitional time for us, individually and as a couple. In addition to all of the meaningful elements of the farm, it also worked well in terms of aesthetics and practicality, as we were able to change scenery for our guests for different parts of the day. Our ceremony was in the woods, our cocktail hour was in the garden by the house, and the reception was in a tent amidst the prairie.

My aunt Jodeane officiated the ceremony. She has been an important influence on me throughout my life and has also served as a guardian of the farm in many ways. One day during our planning, I asked Chris if he thought we might know anyone who could officiate our wedding. (I already had Jodeane in mind but wanted to see what Chris was thinking.) When he suggested Jodeane without my even mentioning her, I knew she was the person for the job!

We had a string quartet and an acoustic guitarist; since music is so important to us both we wanted it to be live.

Processional: Always With Me from Spirited Away
Bridal Processional: Us by Regina Spektor
Surprise (for the Groom) song during Ceremony: Green Eyes by Coldplay
Recessional: If You Want to Sing Out by Cat Stevens

What was your favorite thing about your wedding ceremony? When I walked down the aisle, my dad whispered in my ear, “wlow down.” We were running a half hour late due to a late guest shuttle arrival and I was so ready to get to the altar. When I got up to Chris, he grabbed my hand so tightly that I couldn’t even give my mom a quick kiss, and he didn’t let go until our first kiss! I’ll never forget the depth of the emotional connection I felt with him, with myself, and with our guests throughout the ceremony, especially during our personalized vows.

We wrote our ceremony and vows ourselves. We spent a lot of time reviewing ceremony outlines online and ultimately crafted our own to reflect our values for our relationship. After we got engaged we selected twelve values for our marriage and we used those to inform our ceremony. Writing our ceremony was an incredible opportunity to really consider the commitment we were planning to make to each other on our wedding day and to find some language that reflected what we wanted our marriage to look like. It was a lot of work, but I highly recommend it to other couples as a way of clarifying your shared values for your marriage!

We included some traditional wording, and also wrote our own vows. We loved the ritual aspect of making the traditional vows, but also wanted to take an opportunity to share something we each wrote from the heart. Since we wrote the rest of our ceremony together, we decided we wanted our vows to be the only part that the other didn’t know about beforehand. It felt important to us to include something that we would be experiencing for the first time that day.

I would have made sure to have a guest serve as point person for directions for our shuttle driver, as they ended up being over a half an hour late! I was already so anxious about the ceremony that the extra time waiting was excruciating. Fortunately our other vendors really came through for us and didn’t have any other issues as a result of our delayed start.

We kept track of every single expense in a giant spreadsheet – it all adds up! But this helped me to keep things in perspective throughout the process. It can be hard to create a budget when you don’t really know what things cost. My best advice is to choose your priorities and spend there first. Our priorities were food, music, photography, and videography, so we selected those vendors first and then worked out everything else with what funds remained. It also helped to shop around. We were able to save money by doing some things ourselves and by keeping things simple.

Megan wanted to share with other brides that she recommended to “take some time to explore the emotional aspects of getting married. It’s a huge change in your life, and it’s easy to get distracted from the significance of getting married by wedding planning details. To help prepare ourselves beforehand, we did pre-marriage counseling and I read The Conscious Bride, both of which I highly recommend.”

We had two signature cocktails inspired by our two cats, as well as our Italian honeymoon. They were the Avey Spritz (an Aperol spritz) and the Shio Mule (a Tuscan mule – ginger beer, lime, and Tuaca). The other biggest hit was definitely the French rosé we served, in honor of our Parisian engagement!

Our reception was also on Two Horse Farm, which was awesome because it allowed our guests to get the party started right away. We wanted our guests to feel both at home, and as if they were on an adventure, so we provided watercolor maps when they arrived at the property and had a wine and beer station on the way back from the ceremony so our guests could explore the property as they made their way back to the garden for cocktail hour. The prairie seemed like a perfect spot for our reception because we were able to surround the tent with prairie grasses for an intimate and special vibe, which also allowed us not to have to do too much in the way of decorating the tent.

Design wise, our biggest inspiration was the landscape of the farm. Even though we got married on a farm, we didn’t want our wedding to feel too rustic. Between my ethereal dress and the magical woods, I felt inspired loosely by A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Our color scheme was inspired by the many beautiful sunsets we witnessed on our drives to and from the farm throughout our wedding planning process (a necessity, since we live in Chicago!) In general, our biggest inspiration was all of the people who showed up for us in different ways throughout our planning process. We viewed our wedding day as being as much about our families and loved ones as about us, so it was really important to us to create an experience for our guests to enjoy.

I have never felt so much joy as when we finally sat down to our sweetheart table to eat after the ceremony – the official papers were signed, our photos were taken, we had nothing left to do but be present and enjoy ourselves. Our vendors were awesome in taking care of our night for us to make sure we could all relax and have fun. We really took a moment to soak in all the love and joy around us, and I cherish that feeling even now.

We had two first dance songs. We slow danced to a minute or two of ‘our song’, Fade Into You by Mazzy Star, and then we did a playful choreographed dance to Do You Love Me? by The Contours, from Dirty Dancing. Dance lessons with Chris were one of my favorite parts of wedding planning! Afterwards, I danced with my dad to Landslide by Stevie Nicks and Chris danced with his mom to Crazy by Patsy Kline.

Our whole reception was so lovely. One memorable moment was when the local sheriff showed up! Apparently they had received a noise complaint. As soon as he realized it was a wedding, he basically shook my dad’s hand and turned around to leave. Since it was the fourth of July weekend, I had hoped to make fireworks happen, but they just weren’t in the budget. But right after sunset, fireworks started going off in a neighbor’s yard, perfectly in view of our tent. Meant to be!


Philadelphia Wedding at the Awbury Arboretum

There’s not much better than a good love story. Maura, a trapeze artist, and Nikki, a librarian who plays guitar in a band, met in a small whiskey bar on bluegrass night. It was love at first sight. Their celebration was sweetly and uniquely their own without losing sight of what the day is truly about. We hope you love this celebration between two brides as much as we do!

Remember it’s supposed to be fun. We didn’t want to lose sight of what this day is really about, which is us, our love for each other, and our love for our friends and family. It was important to keep perspective on that while doing the less glamorous details (Costco trip, anyone?)

“It was important to the both of us that our wedding be in Philly. We’ve both been here for about ten years and wanted to bring our families together in the place we call home. We considered a few sites, but as soon as we saw Awbury Arboretum, we knew it was perfect. The Francis Cope house, built in 1852, was the perfect backdrop for our love of the city’s history, and we knew we’d have the freedom to make the day our own with a ton of DIY. Also, it was one of the few spots we looked at that was beautiful, historic, AND affordable for our size wedding. Many venues were priced per person, and at 150 guests they were way out of our price range. Awbury’s pricing was simple (small event, large event) and very reasonable.”

We sat down with our officiant on a snowy morning, in her living room while her toddler played nearby. She asked us questions, and we told her stories about ourselves, from our first meeting to the things that were important to us. It was a really lovely moment of reflection in the whirlwind of the planning process.

No specific traditions other than vows. Beforehand, our officiant pointed out that vows are traditionally intended to be declarations of intention (“I will” statements) as opposed to straight-up gushing about the other person. That was helpful guidance when it came to sitting down and writing vows.

We booked a solo violinist, Reina Inui, to play before and after the ceremony. Our only specific request was to walk down the aisle to Pachelbel’s “Canon in D”.

Tara Rubinstein of Red Seeds—we met her through the recommendation of a friend after our first officiant told us she had been double-booked. It turned out to be an ideal match!

We wrote our own vows. We kept them secret from one another until the ceremony, but there were a lot of parallels. We both emphasized how important independence is to us; independence for ourselves as much as for the other person, and how maintaining our creative, distinct personalities will only continue to make us stronger as a couple. We also both referenced our first couple of dates in our anecdotes; Nik used it to point out that we’ve been inseparable since then, and Maura used it to highlight how much we are cut from the same cloth (both arriving at second-date picnic with an extremely excessive amount of highly curated and aesthetically pleasing food and drink).

It was important to us as secular humanists that we didn’t revert to any religious terminology out of a sense of tradition. Words like “blessed”, “miracle”, and “sacred” were carefully omitted and replaced with equally evocative words and phrases (such as “marvel of love” instead of “miracle of love”). After the wedding, we received a couple of comments from friends and family who specifically expressed appreciation for this language and who felt that it added a lot of depth and personality to the ceremony.

We couldn’t have done it without our Wedding Action Committee. Instead of a traditional wedding party, we asked a small group of friends to help us with implementing the final logistics of the day. They arrived early, set up the tables and chairs, assembled the bud vase table decorations, checked in with our bartenders and food vendors, helped with clean-up, etc. If we didn’t have such wonderful people in our lives, we don’t think we could have pulled it off.

Among some of our friends, it is a tradition to give a creative group wedding gift. They managed to surprise us completely with a book of photographs—they were photographs we had taken of each other throughout our courtship, right next to a duplicate photo hilariously recreated by our friends. It was amazing.

Choose a venue with all the tables and chairs we needed. And maybe a better rain contingency plan. We were lucky we could book a tent at the last minute (and split the cost with another wedding the next day), and even luckier the forecast for rain was wrong.

We had a gorgeous three-tiered cake with champagne and chocolate almond cakes with raspberry icing. We also had a spread of small desserts: coconut lime mini pies, flourless chocolate cake bites, macaroons and chocolate dipped marshmallows.


Aspen Ranch Wedding by Olivia Rae James

We’re so grateful for our sweet brides & grooms who shared their stories with us. Our BEST OF 2016 .

If you’re thinking New Year’s resolutions are a silly tradition, you might think again once you hear this delightful story from the groom in today’s wedding…
In January 2011, Kate made two New Years resolutions: 1. To dress more ladylike and 2. To adopt a No Fear mentality for that year. It was Resolution #2 that prompted Kate to ask me on our first date. Kate arrived at the agreed Brooklyn restaurant in a Ford pick up truck, with a can of Budweiser in the cup holder playing Bruce Springsteen—for a boy from England, that was it. Continuing with the No Fear theme, date two was a trip to visit Kate in Aspen, where she was working at the time. A few days turned into a week with convenient snow storms stopping all flights; it was during this week that our love for each other began.”

What was the best advice you received as a bride? Take time to step away with your groom and admire the moment. You’ve created the most unbelievable day; you’ve brought your favorite people together in one place for the best party of your life! The perfect wedding gown is a mix of elegance and comfort.

“Our wedding was inspired by our annual trip to the Wilderness Music Festival that is a wonderful celebration of arts, music, food, and wildlife in the majestic woods of a stately home in the Cotswolds. The wonderfully decorated tents and costumes are mind blowing—as is the music, food trucks and pop-up restaurants. We even rented festival flags from a man in Cornwall, England—Ben’s home town—who supplies the flags for Glastonbury Festival, one of the biggest music festivals in the UK. Ben’s brother brought them over in his suitcase!”

 We had great wedding planners—Gold Leaf Event Design—and our best friend Phil is an event designer who helped us with a lot of playful details too. Most important was it felt more like a festival of love than a wedding, and the location really solidified that—a big open ranch with mountains all around. Those mountains are magic and everyone felt the love.

Our dear dear friend Nigel Winser. He is a world renowned explorer and conservationist and speaks so beautifully. He knew exactly what we wanted.

We surprised our guests with a reading that turned into a song—the band popped out of the trees! Our very talented and wild friend Jamie, our official MC, lead the crowd in “When I’m 64” by the Beatles. Such great lyrics. It was priceless.

The location. It felt like we were in the middle of nowhere. My father and I hid in a teepee a few hundred yards away and walked a very long beautiful walk to the altar. I wanted to have this long walk to slow down the moment and really remember it.

 Very sadly, Ben’s stepfather Charles could not be there, as he was very ill back in England. To include him in the ceremony, we had a friend holding her cell phone with Charles on FaceTime. We even sent him a cowboy hat to don during the ceremony. He passed away a few months after the ceremony. We were happy he was able to see us marry, and now he will always be with us in spirit.

Music and food is most important. Keep both simple and quality. The songs people want to sing to, the food people want to eat. Nothing fancy. Always buy more booze than you think! Also, if you want to save a few bucks, e-mailed Save The Dates are just fine and the welcome bag is overrated in my eyes. An itinerary of the weekend at the hotel for each guest is fine enough—make sure to have all info online too.

“We found the most beautiful ranch land for our wedding. There was a ranch hand on the property that became our great friend, Arturo, and he helped us build the festival. For the structure we were married under, he found us fallen Aspen trees and we all built it together. My favorite part was Tipi Village. We drove two hours away for the tipis to a small village in the mountains. It took us two days to work out how to get those things up – the top knot was very challenging!”

Blow up more 6 foot helium balloons. They took way longer than we thought! And were the coolest things ever. So basically, nothing.

As the night picked up, our guests began getting into costume and suddenly I saw a rabbit head and giant carrot dancing with a galaxy girl. Benj is a big fan of “fancy dress” as he calls it – it makes everyone let go of all inhibitions. We have a Fancy Dress Box in our parlor at home. It’s very important to never take yourself too seriously.


Simple Farm Wedding Absolutely Filled with Love

Our gorgeous weddings this week have something amazing in common: they are all about the love story, not the details. Our lovely bride Sara says “the whole day felt very intimate – due in no small part to the fact that some of our very talented friends helped put it all together. A childhood friend of mine was the DJ, another our officiant, and my officemate turned dear friend Dorothée Brand of Belathée was our photographer. Our friends Matt and Emily of The Corson Building curated a wonderful assortment of food and beverages, and the save the dates, invitations and menus were created by another friend, Danielle Bellert of BDR-studio. We are so lucky to be surrounded by such gifted and generous people.” It is seriously inspiring that this couple didn’t get caught up in ‘all things wedding’, but kept it totally authentic to them, and it really shows in every aspect of their day. Which reminds me – be sure to read on for what Sara says she would do differently if she had to do it all again – it is so honest and one of my all time favorites answers!

Sara tells us the sweet story of finding what she calls her “not-so-expensive-dress”: “I was visiting my parents at home in Anchorage, Alaska the winter before our wedding and my mom and I went to a small wedding dress shop which featured many consignment pieces. I was not expecting to find my wedding dress in Alaska, but ended up falling in love with a piece that had been handmade by a local woman. She had originally made it for her daughter. Because Anchorage is a small town I contacted her and we began corresponding with each other – we’ve since shared many cards and phone calls and my connection to her made the dress feel that much more special.”
Sara paired her beautiful gown with her great grandmother’s veil, which has also been worn by her mom, aunt and cousin!

If you had to do it all over again, is there anything you would do differently? Probably! Ha! It’s all kind of a blur now, but of course no process is perfect and there were a lot of growing pains during the planning. Honestly it was probably the most difficult year of our relationship and I’m sure wedding planning had something to do with that. I think it was important for us to forgo the illusion that the planning would be romantic and magical. And it is amazing how any quarrels leading up to the wedding didn’t really seem to matter on the big day or after.

One of them was definitely walking down the aisle with our families. We opted not to have a wedding party but had our parents and siblings walk us down the aisle instead.

We didn’t want anything overtly religious, and we knew we wanted to write our own vows. We wanted it to feel sentimental but also a little light hearted. And nothing too long! We took cues from a lot of friends’ and siblings’ weddings, but pretty much wrote the script on our own. We tried to combine many of our favorite features from past weddings into our day.

We wrote our own! We wanted it to be a surprise for each other. The only thing we agreed on beforehand was that we would keep our vows around one minute. Hearing each other’s vows in the moment was by far the most special part of our entire wedding.

The wedding budget is definitely a slippery slope and it’s really easy to get carried away. This isn’t revelatory advice, but I would just recommend picking the things that matter most to you and spending your money on those and not worrying about making everything “perfect”. For example, I chose not to spend a lot of money on a dress but really cared about having beautiful photographs and flowers. And think of the guests’ perspective – guests will notice if you run out of booze, but they won’t notice if you didn’t put hand carved name tags at each seat!